GRATITUDE IN A LIST

THANKFUL FRIDAY

Gratitude in list form.

• For three out five days, I have ridden my bicycle to work. Last week after the last ride of that week, I had 585 miles on my odometer and I told Michael that I wanted to put 600 miles on the bike before the end of riding season. I did that and more. Honestly, I didn’t set a high bar for myself but at this point setting any kind of bar and then reaching that bar is spectacular. I am just as proud of myself now as if I had set the bar at 700 miles. I also learned that I do not like 45 degree temperatures for bike riding, but maybe if I wear I hat I will like it a little. I am grateful for these rides not just for physical health but also for my mental health.

• We are having some issues with Mom and my sister is struggling to get those issues addressed. There have been talks of moving her to some different places. Hospice has been suggested and before my sister met with hospice, she asked for a list of questions to ask. I paused and then remembered that my lovely friend, Lauren, is a hospice nurse. I asked her some questions and she responded back immediately and with some really helpful information. I am so thankful for Lauren. Also, Mom is better and the hospice care is helping. I am grateful for my siblings, especially my sister, who have been dealing with all of this.

• A friend/colleague’s mom routinely makes us batches of what we call Magic Bars. They are a delicious chocolate nutty cake bar. He brought them in once and we all went crazy over them so now his mom brings a batch of them every time she visits and we love her for it. Those magic bars got me through some tough days this week and I am grateful.

• Last Friday, Josephine got a haircut and an allergy shot. She’s extra sassy cute right now and no longer itchy. We have had morning cuddles this week since she is back to sleeping under the comforter. Our bedtime routine after Michael turns out the light is for me to roll to my side and then lift the edge of the comforter so Josephine can dive in, which she does with great enthusiasm. It’s adorable and she’s wonderful.

• Last night, the cat ran across the living room and pounced into my lap. Once he settled, Michael and I were talking about how the cat should not be alive. Then Michael looked up the average lifespan for an indoor/outdoor cat and discovered he most definitely should not be alive. The average lifespan for an indoor/outdoor cat is four to five years. Albus is at least ten years old and he was hit by a car once. I don’t think he ventures too far from the house these days, but I caught him eating a squirrel in the backyard on Sunday. So he’s still doing wild animal cat stuff. I’m grateful he’s still around and there is a sneaky satisfaction in knowing he prefers my lap to anyone else’s in the house.

• I end every yoga class by telling my students to have gratitude to themselves for being present in class and doing kind things for their bodies. This is something I need to tell myself each night when I lay down in my bed for the night. It particularly holds true for this week. I did something kind for my body every day this week and I was fully present in each day’s tasks. I am ending this week with gratitude to myself.

Usually when I end up writing my gratitude post in list form it means I’m struggling. I think, like many of us, I’m just barely keeping my head a float. Last night Michael repurposed Sunday’s leftovers into our dinner. Then he said “Look at us! Using our leftovers like we’re living in the Depression Era.” I reminded him that we are currently in a depression era, but we laughed about it. Really this is all we can do. Basically, we’re fine. Existentially, we’re struggling.

If I’m stuck, I’ll start a list. The thing about making a gratitude list is that once I write down one thing, I come up with more things to add to the list. It’s like peddling a bike up a hill, starts out slow and there is some effort required. But that moment you reach the top of the hill and then start your descent down the other side feels like a joy ride. This list is an ‘in spite of’ list and the only way to beat the algorithms designed to divide us is to flood our social spaces with goodness, peer reviewed science, and multiple sourced news.

My gratitude is my activism.